Free PDF The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job
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The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job
Free PDF The Bully at Work: What You Can Do to Stop the Hurt and Reclaim Your Dignity on the Job
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About the Author
Gary Namie, PhD, (Bellingham, WA) is a social organizational psychologist. He is the president of the Campaign Against Workplace Bullying. Ruth Namie, PhD, is the CEO of the Campaign Against Workplace Bullying. Dr. Namie has been a psychotherapist since 1986 and holds a doctorate in clinical psychology. They live in Bellingham, Washington.
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Product details
Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: Sourcebooks; 2 edition (June 1, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1402224265
ISBN-13: 978-1402224263
Product Dimensions:
6 x 1 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 1.7 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
169 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#184,223 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
THE BULLY AT WORK looks at the latest issue in the work place--allowing a manager (or in some cases a co-worker)to demean you as a method of control and keeping you from seeing your value as an employee of a company. This practice occurs within many companies. Some don't offically authorize it but sanction it by ignoring it or ignoring the problem(bringing it up to HR only indicates to those within that department that they are not doing their job in many cases making them defensive). Many managers get away with it in large corporations because the people they work for never are on the receiving end of these mind games (and make no mistake they are mind games). Large corporations whether they be a large company like Novartis, Kaiser, IBM and smaller organizations often lose good people by allowing what amounts to harrassment to occur.The authors outline the steps you need to take to derail the psychological manipulation, restore your self confidence and sense of self worth. In some cases, that means leaving a company. Often these companies ignore the signs (high turnover within an office or district, complaints mentioned in exit interviews)because of concern over lawsuits. This enables the disfunctional person behind these humilitations to continue to their assault on employees and make no mistake it is an assault comprising a form of psychological rape.The authors identify the various personalty types, types of abuse and what makes someone a Target. They also make suggestions to disable employees from becoming Targets and discouraging the manager/supervisor from continuing their onslaught. Just because a manager discontinues harrassing one employee doesn't mean they won't continue doing this because according to the authors it springs from a deep seated insecurity and bullying as children by their parents or other children. Sadly, as the authors point out the Targets of bullying allow the bully to act out on their aggression and usually the bully has no insight into their actions or unethical behavior.You're not imagining it. This book will help you act and deal with these psychologically disturbed individuals wrongly put into positons of power.
Having been through previously unimaginable pain and loss both personally and in my career from an instance of this, never believe it cannot happen to you. No matter how strong you are as a person, how good you are at your job, how wise at office politics, etc, there is a nemesis out there for you. I hope none of you reading this find yours, and to those who have, I will share a quiet moment with you. There is not much one can say to another who has been there - you just know. In a way, being a military child, it's similar to a battlefield. The PTSD is real. The damage to you psychologically and emotionally, is real. But these people, be they evil, mentally ill, or damaged in some way go on with their lives and rarely with any consequences. That's reality. Namie does a good job calling out the issue, and most importantly calling it by its proper name. Bullying is not calling someone a name. Bullying is a systematic destruction of who you are as a person. And I have come to believe the only way to truly leave with your life intact, is to leave that environment and that individual permanently. Changing to a diferent department does not help, nor a different division. Mine came after me, behind closed doors, across several states. Do yourself a favor and get out as soon as you can make the move. And keep this book to help you realize you are not imagining things. Trust your gut. Your gut knows when it's really bullying and not just a bad day, a clash of personalities, or just a bad boss.
I wished that as a teenager, I had grasped this book to fully comprehend what I had to endure. The book covers in detail what workplace bullying or mobbing is, how it starts, what it does to you, types tactics used by the abuser, etc. I remember a full array of instances at workplaces dealing with these types of people. Some made verbal threats, others sabotaged personal relationships, invaded my privacy, discredited my work, spread malicious lies, intervened in job offers, divulged my personal economic standpoint to many, made false accusations, and even sexually harassed me. Of all employers, one struck a cord when I was in high school working at a fast food chain. She called me vulgar names in front of people, always humiliated me in front of the world. When People reported her for what she was doing to me and she punished me for it. It took time and courage to stand my ground. Shed go to lengths in victimizing herself that my parents thought I was the bad apple. It took a toll on me mentally. I decided after six months while having no support, to take control over the matter and to confront her regarding her actions. she said shed ensure no company would ever hire me, that no school would ever accept me, and ensure that people would make my life miserable. And that indeed she did. Companies came forward advising she did recommend that i not be considered for employment and people came forward advising she had told them to participate in rumors and ways to cause misery but they wanted no part in it. I was so young but I understood that she had no power over me. She used all her authority, money, power, and influence to do bad things to me. But I never gave up. Years later, I found out she had lost her business and that she was asking people around for me because she regretted all the terrible things shed put me through. Karma. In another instance, I had a female coworker at an office that hated me so much for no reason, such that she verbally told me she wished I was dead and that I should kill myself because she was never going to stop in her attempts to destroy my life. She spread many lies, invaded my privacy, turned coworkers into my enemies through lies, and even dressed like me, wore her hair like me and intervened in my personal relationships. There are so many more instances to name a few in witnessing and being targeted for this type of abuse. Sadly there are no workplace laws to protect us from these types of abusive events and sadly these conflicts can go on for years and years. People often continue with these types of abusive campaigns outside of the workplace. I learned on my own that when someone says that I'll never be happy and I'll never succeed it means i can, that I should always fight for the truth and for my happiness, I learned to stand my ground and walk with my head high when confronting adversity within my workplaces, that if I get mad and give in to my aggressor...I am giving them power over me. This is a good book to obtain on workplace mobbing whether you're self employed, a CEO, manager, supervisor, or someone looking to gain some perspective on how to handle these types of covert emotionally manipulative and abusive people within the work environment...then I'd say this book has some amazing insight.
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